Having twins is challenging and amazingly great fun. I love both of my babies and I honestly cannot believe how lucky and blessed I am to have them in my life. Among the bliss and bonding and cuddles their are those real necessities that a parent, naturally wants to get right. feeding, changing, sleep schedules…all things to consider and they require a fair amount of work and patience. But what about those times when we as parents have to ask other people to be patient? I have my moments of being totally oblivious, but It is also something that has always been very important to me to be considerate of others. I can be even a bit neurotic at times when it comes to this, either aligning myself to, or straying from social conventions in order to satisfy my personal sense of what is the considerate thing to do, which frequently puts me at odds with the status quo.
For example: Don’t brake your car dead in your tracks to turn left across oncoming traffic when there are only two lanes at the busy time of day. I know this is crazy, if you are heading into one of these spots it’s not your fault that the roadway does not support the amount of traffic. However, I personally have completely changed my lunch destination to avoid doing it because it causes so many issues for other drivers. I would rather go out of my way than be in other people’s way. It just would make me to self conscious and I’d want to duck down below the window to avoid being seen. Yet it is almost inevitable that if I’m driving in that left lane I will wind up stuck behind somebody who wants to make that turn and has to wait for the oncoming traffic to subside. I take the right lane sometimes to avoid it, but then if it doesn’t happen, I can find myself locked out of the lane I need to be in when I get to the light. It’s a gamble every time.
I am plagued by my sense of what the appropriate thing to do is in any situation, especially when it does not resemble the behavior that is actually taking place. Therefore, due to my weird little brand of social justice I have become very concerned with how taking Gwendolyn and Lawson out of the house is going to impact others in public situations. We recently had a trip to Walmart where Gwendolyn would not stop crying. I could soothe her and calm her down, but moments later she was wailing again. That was our first time as parents, being “those people.” It was also the first time nobody stopped us to tell us how cute the babies are. That probably made her cry more. Another instance is unloading the car in a busy parking lot. Sara and I started taking the babies out pretty early and I think we have gotten quite good at taking them out of their car seats and loading them in the stroller in a timely, efficient and unobtrusive manner. That is why I was absolutely shocked when we were met with passive aggressive behavior in a parking lot as we attempted to meet with family for breakfast.
I found a good spot within the parking structure without having to go too far. In fact, just around the corner was practically empty and highly visible. The garage had not had time to fill up as it was still early in the day. I got out and pulled the stroller out from the back then proceeded to set it up for the babies. It’s a great double stroller called Joovy Ultralight Twin Groove, super compact and easy to unfold and lock in place. We love it and we take it everywhere. Well, some woman must have become immediately annoyed by the mere fact that we had children. I don’t know how else to explain it, because she came from the empty side of the garage and stopped her car to wait to park next to us. Now, ordinarily we would load the stroller behind the car so that we are not blocking an available space, but as I mentioned there were several available spots close by and loading the stroller on the side of the car became necessary because of the woman who stopped to wait for us, because she had impacted the inbound traffic of other cars and they were having to drive around her and closer to us. So I moved my stroller to the side where Sara was taking Gwendolyn out of her car seat.
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Well, the woman could not wait a moment longer and pulled into two spaces at once. One of them being for disabled parking. We were so confused. Why did she have to park right next to us, and why could we not be afforded a reasonable amount of time to take our children out of the car in relative safety? She waited in her car for us to leave and then evidently re-parked her car to fit in the space. We never saw her again. We relived the experience trying to see if there was something we had missed. It was truly weird.
Christine. R says
You are going to have to learn to tell people off
Michelle says
No. It is better and easier to ignore. Do not allow their problems to become yours. This coming from a parent who had a toddler when the twins were born. Always take the high road, much better view to be seen.
Janice says
Some people just don’t want incovinced wither you had one child or 8 she would be a jerk .first parents of one child also try to no inconvenience others you two are doing it right.they are bith adorable.
Jenetta says
I used to be the person always worried that I’d step on toes or inconvenience others and to a point that’s okay. But you’re a parent and your babies come first. There will be miserable ppl that hate the world around you and you just gotta face them off or ignore them. In my vindictive state, I would’ve got her license plate to report her double parking and obstructing a handicap spot lol but you said she moved so I guess it would just waste the polices officers time. Sorry she was a turd but she won’t be the last one you encounter haha
Qtpies7 says
If she just pulled in and didn’t say anything, maybe she was getting out of the way of the traffic she was blocking and waiting to park next to you. She may need to be as close as she can because of health issues, but doesn’t yet qualify for a handicap tag, or forgot her hanging tag in a different car. (My mom has a tag she moves to whatever car she is in)
Rox says
Maybe she pulled in so traffic could go around and waited to be able to park her car correctly.
Katie says
You have to learn the death stare lol I have 5 kids and have got it down 😉
Jessica says
I took my three children thru the airport check point (2009) and had a newborn, 2 yr old and 4 yr old. Some man made a snarky remark about me having to wear my son (and take him out of the carrier to go thru security ) as well as the breakdown of my stroller and setting my diaper bag thru …and take off all our shoes ….. hold a 2 yr olds hand and make sure the baby stops fussing….and make sure the 4 yr old wasn’t roaming.etc etc. Instead of help me he made a snide remark and I was already frustrated clearly….i just said why not help instead of being an ass. I got a round of applause …and help from the others in line.
Heather says
Sometimes people have bad days. I only say this because when my father was dying I was awful. I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and took it out on others in similar passive aggressive ways. I had to apologize to those I could once I realized what I had done after the fact. I didn’t make excusesco just apologized for being a witch at that time.
And on the other hand, sometimes people are just awful and selfish and have no time for anyone but themselves. It’s sometimes a sad world when these people rear their ugliness in the world. I only wish them some happiness in their lives to make them see how life could be
Your babies are beautiful. Enjoy them. Don’t let the actions of others impact you.
Addie says
Most times we don’t know what makes people tick.
But one thingI’ve noticed, is most people don’t think of others or care if they’re inconvenienced, as long as u don’t inconvenience them. It’s a very
Self-centered world and they are not going to chg, we need to learn how to deal W it.
Mom of 2 boys says
You simply can’t please everyone! You should always take your time when in a parking lot with children to keep them safe and don’t let others fluster you. This is the first of many incidents you will have throughout the children’s growing up. And I hate to break it to you both, but wait until you have a full blown temper tantrum in the middle of Walmart, you will remember the day she cried and think that wasn’t so bad! LOL
Melissa says
I’m sorry you went through that. She may have been mentally ill to clearly see that it’s a process to take out your children or maybe she has some serious control issues. I had one lady behind me in the grocery line telling me to hurry up and speaking under her breath as I was passing my items to the cashier. I decided to tell her if she had a problem she should have gone to another line. She admitted she wasn’t looking and I told her you have a bad attitude and you need to fix it. I’m tired of coming home and not speaking up. You bet I felt better that night for speaking up. A long time ago I would have never done that and would have thought about what I could have said.
Ronda says
You can not go through life worried about people who are unreasonable. I appreciate that you are contious of how your family effects others but really that woman was not worried how she was effecting your family. You have the same rights as the rest of us and no you are not “those people”. Relax and go on with life, you have been given a couple of blessings that will in turn bless the world in which they walk.
Debbie says
I try to park away from all of the parking spaces where I am somewhat alone. But when I come back to my car someone will want my parking space and get aggravated that I am unloading my groceries. “And taking too long for them.” They have even honked at me. I have yelled PARK IN THE OTHER EMPTY PLACES! People have no consideration for anyone. I am so sorry your sweet babies inconvenienced those people. Take your time and stand your ground. Do not let them ruin your outings.
Cathy says
Some people, unfortunately, are assholes! No need to stress over what they are thinking and try to figure them out. Enjoy your babies❤️✌
Tonya says
I’ve learned over the years with my children, some people just seem to hate anyone with kids and act like jerks around them. Don’t take it personal. Some hunt a reason to grumble. Doesn’t seem you did anything to worry about. Ignore the jerks and enjoy your twins.
Kelly Smith says
The only thing you need to be concerned with is loading/unloading your children safely while keeping an eye on the dangers around you all. Take up as much space as you need. Take as much time as you need. There will always be those who think only of themselves and who don’t care about you &/or your precious children. My kids are now 16 & 14. I no longer, (rarely), worry about what others think or how upset they get with us. It takes a while.